Quitting

I am quitting smoking again. Yes, I started back up during the oh-so-fun turbulence of a couple weeks ago, and even found myself smoking one and a half to two packs of cigarettes daily. I finished the last pack Monday morning, and went cold turkey (again).

Am I cranky? Oh, yes. Pissy? Hells, yes. Does poor Master get to hear my moodiness? Yup. he sure does, poor man. I've been trying to not lash out at all, but it happens... a lot more than I would wish it to. He's even gone so far as to tell me that if I need a cigarette, go buy some. I hate to say it, but that would be the wrong way for me to go about things. I can't just taper down on cigarettes - it has to be either I am smoking or I am not smoking. Tapering down only affords me opportunity to cheat and smoke more.

I don't need to spend the money on cigarettes... they are almost $6.00 a pack after taxes right now. I don't need to walk around smelling like an ashtray, which I know I do. I sure don't need to put Master through all this crankiness again... he really doesn't deserve it. And Master doesn't like the smell of cigarettes, and he wants me safe and healthy. I want that, too, so I can drive him crazy in a lot of other, more amusing ways for a lot longer. :)