Crankies

I was no fun to be around yesterday. The day before wasn't the speefiest, either, lemme tell ya. One of the good things about having known Master for so many years as a friend is that I feel entirely comfortable railing at him and letting him know how I feel (GRRR!) Of course, one of the bad things is that very same thing, too. He sure doesn't deserve me in my cranky, grumpy state.

Finally last night, he sent me to bed. He knew what I sort of knew (but didn't want to admit, really) - I needed sleep, and not just a couple hours and then back up to work or do homework or go help the parents. I needed a good night's sleep. this morning he said he never wants to see that again... and I assured him he most likely will.

I will get tired, and then I will get more tired. I will keep pushing myself and not allowing myself to really sleep. A little nap now and then, but that's it. Then come the crankies on top of the crankies, as I try and try to forge ahead and get the things done I need to do. Of course I can't, or barely can, because I am too tired to concentrate. This makes me more frustrated and crankier, and it is just a horrid, never-ending circle until real sleep breaks it open. Oh, yes, I know it's bad for me. Bad for my mental and my physical health. I still do it.

This time, it was work and work and lots of homework, and parents calling and wanting me to come over at the last minute to clean up the house, even though I still had a ton of homework and had to work two graveyard shift so needed to sleep at some point. I didn't get much sleep at all - like only a few hours for the weekend - and felt badly pressured for the homework and the house cleaning... and this isn't even mentioning my own housekeeping needs. I am very well aware that it comes off as being extremely selfish, and I really hate that. Hells, I was going to go over to the parents' house early this morning, but sudden inspiration struck and I knew I needed to harness it for my homework or lose it forever. I have called them and told them I will be there early tomorrow morning. Apparently they will have things for me to go pick up tomorrow at noon, and again tomorrow evening. That's fine. I just need to make sure my homework and all is done.

Please notice this also leaves no real time for my Master. Not a good thing at all.

And now I am going to shower and get ready for work again. Wednesday I believe I have a dinner "date" with a girlfriend of mine. other than that, we'll see.