On Thursday afternoon, the second collar arrived. The second, because the first was really too tight to wear safely or comfortably (though I hope to lose enough weight in a healthy manner so that it fits perfectly!), and this one is a bit larger. Master has me in a Turian-style collar right now, one that is a tube of metal encircling the neck, hinged on one side and screw-locked on the other, resting on the collarbone.
I wore it all day yesterday until I had to go to work. Wore it on the way to work, took it off and placed it in the purse he gave me for my shift, then replaced it around my neck as soon as I got back in the car. That I did because he wanted me to. I slept in it last night, taking it off on my own only when I bathed (and that was in part because the weight was beginning to give me a bit of a headache), and kept it on all day and night until I had to come to work at 11:00pm.
11:50pm, and I had this urge to put it on again. Not horrible, and not overwhelming, but strong enough to just want to go to the purse and take the stainless steel hoop and swing it closed around my neck, screwing the tiny screw into its hole to lock the hinge shut. I smiled as I felt the weight rest on my neck and collarbone, and went to help more guests.
Over an hour later I write this, and I am found smiling. It's that little, secret-type content smile women sometimes have, the one that's so difficult to explain... but when you see it, you understand completely.
This collar is comforting, warm with love, solid with reality. For now there is no leash, but someday soon I will hear the soft clinking of small chains cascading between my neck and his fingers. I can hardly wait, but I can wait, as well. I am just grateful to be his.
(and no, not said because he reads this! *laffs*)
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